Sex is a beautiful act of love. When two people have sex they bond on so many levels. Sex is a time to be intimate and connect with your partner. Sex is a process and it needs work. When your sex is good your chemistry is good and that helps your relationship.
Good sex is not a chore or just an act but a private heaven that you look forward to always. You just can’t wait to get all over each other when you are having good sex. It satisfies both of you both emotionally and physically.
When you are young, sex is an adventure. Something you do to have fun. When you are older sex should be that wonderful selfless craving you have to fully satisfy your lover.
During the course of a relationship there may be certain signs which show that your sex life is suffering. “New lovers have the best sex” is what I normally hear. As time goes on this becomes less and less obvious. Your sex life can suffer without you even being conscious of it. Here are some few signs to look out for in a regressing sexual relationship.
Signs your sex life is suffering
1. When Its only about your orgasm
When you are young, sex is a curiosity for you. You want to try everything. You are adventurous. There is a wonder in you every time about sex. From the time you see your fist nude magazine to the time you touch the body of your first partner, there is a wild curiosity.
In sharp contrast, these feelings are not always present in some adult relationships. When you lose the excitement of completely and totally exploring your lover’s body it is not a good sign.
Good sex is about the journey not the destination. A good sexual experience should be exciting for you from start to finish. If this is not the case then there is a problem.
Sex is a process. You should not only be focused on achieving orgasm because this does not help you pay the right attention to your partner’s needs. It’s like going through the motions just to get the job done. This makes you focus on just you. This is really about using your partner’s body as a means to an end, orgasm. But that should not be the case.
Sex should be about communication between your bodies. It is only sex when both partners benefit. Thinking about your satisfaction only and not being interested in your lover’s puts your sex life at risk.
When you are not bothered about your partner’s body and how it responds to you, it’s not good. You must know where and how they like to be touched and where they don’t like to be touched. You should know to drive them to orgasm and how long it takes them to orgasm. Ignoring all these very important steps can ruin your sex life.
2. When foreplay is an issue
Foreplay is everything that happens in the lead up to sex. It is not ideal to not know what gets your partner in the mood and really ready for you. Foreplay does not necessarily begin in the bedroom. It begins in the morning. A dirty look, a dirty text and a deep French kiss for no reason can be turn on for your partner.
Ignoring these simple things may keep your partner from attaining orgasms since they may not be mentally and psychologically ready for sex. There is the need to prep them for the occasion. It becomes troubling when quickies are all that you and your partner are doing.
Quickies are great but reserve them for when there is an emergency like when you are late for work or in a public place. It may be troubling when you jump on your partner for sex every time without any previous romantic and intimate exchanges. They might feel objectified, and not in the good way. Besides that they may not enjoy it since their bodies might not be biologically ready for you.
Sex should not be the only time you should be happy with your partner. Sex is not a solution to your problems. It is a fruit of your love and happiness. It’s a consummation of your bond not a way out of trouble. Make up sex and break up sex are not emotionally satisfying concepts. Your partner must want you more and more through foreplay.
In essence, sex does not begin when you start touching your partner. On the contrary it begins when foreplay begins. If your partner is not craving you even before you see them, you have a problem. Anyone can have sex with anyone but good intimate sex comes from two people who know their bodies and cravings inside out.
A sexual relationship becomes boring and atrocious when you only treat your partner’s body like and object to get satisfaction.
3. When you do not communicate before and after sex
Are you and your partner on the same sexual page? What are your depravities, your kinks, your turn-ons and turn offs. If you are afraid or unwilling to share this information with your partner then your sex life needs help. Know your lovers body and vice versa.
Lack of communication before and after sex may derail your sexual relationship. Not knowing these things will reduce the surprise in the bedroom. Know the sexual positions that your partner is into. Failing to connect on this level may spell doom for your relationship.
It is not ideal when you don’t know your lover’s ticks and things that get them revved up. You are not a magician to know everything about them. This is why communication is important. Talk it out and open yourself up to knowing your lover more than you already do.
4. When you are not adventurous with your bodies
Another warning sign is when you are insensitive to your partner’s sexual needs no matter when or where. When you find yourself constantly turning down your partner’s invitation for sex with flimsy excuses your sex life is in trouble.
Being tuned into your partner is very important. For example you’re alone in an elevator with your partner; you share a dirty glance, next thing you know you are on top of each other. This is called chemistry and adventure. This should be able to happen anywhere like a public bathroom, the car or during a hike. If you are not always on for your lover when they want you in these kinds of places, the fire may be going down a little bit.
Adventurous sex is crazy sex, it is spicy and it adds different dimensions to your relationship and makes you connect even better. When you constantly make excuses to get out of them, your sex life may be suffering.
When you don’t explore new things with your partner but continue to do the same boring routines your sex life may be hampered. When you are not too open to new ideas from your partner it can be a worrying sign. If you’re not too open indeed this may spell trouble as well.
If you are always in a hurry to leave the conversation when your partner brings up new sex positions you can try, check your sex life. Being unwilling to work toward your sexual satisfaction with each other can be bad for your intimacy.
Failing to broaden your horizon with your partner when it comes to your sex life is not great. Whether it’s spanking, toys, sharing a dirty movie or filming yourselves, be open to it for your partner. This gives them the assurance that you are willing to make them happy. It’s not a good sign when you are constantly afraid of exploring your bodies.
5. When you don’t make the Effort to look Good
It is not the best when you are not bothered or too lazy to make the effort to look good for your partner. It gets to a point where lovers get too comfortable with each other and let themselves go. This is bad.
Another warning sign is when you abandon basic primping activities like shaving, cleaning up, cleaning the sheets, going to the salon or barber and looking good for your partner.
When your previous regiment involved you working out and looking sexy for your partner but now you just want to kick back and lay back without providing some eye candy for your lover, you sex life might suffer. There must be sustained efforts to attract your partner even though they are already yours.
Love may not be entirely based on looks but sex is sometimes driven by lustful urges caused by your looks. Ignoring simple hygiene techniques may turn your partner off from you. Not taking care of yourself may subconsciously be damaging your confidence. When you abandon simple beauty regiments like make-up and lipstick you may be telling your lover indirectly that you don’t really care anymore.
Your partner may secretly resent you when you don’t give them some eye candy every once in a while. Let them feel loved and that you make the effort for them. Completely ignoring this essential might be spelling doom for your sex life.