As a matter of fact, we live in a society where people like to feel attracted to others, and others hate to be pestered, especially by people who want to feel attracted to them. The people you think you are trying furtively to attract think otherwise, and as such, they tend to stay away from you instead ( you end up chasing them away )
Meaning, that when you are seen as the one always wanting to initiate a conversation, trying incessantly to create a connection, or doing things that show that you need a person to pay attention to you or for people to like you, you come off as being clingy and needy; hence, people are repulsed by you, leaving you to wonder if you are at fault in any way.
Honestly, you are not really at fault for wanting people to like you. It is a very nice feeling when people like you. The problem is how you go about it. For anything you might want in this world, there is a way to go about it. A method of some sort. And the same can be said for how you attract people.
The art of attracting people is an interesting endeavor. To attract a person, you must be ready to pay the cost, and that cost is your readiness to learn and unlearn some things about the art. You probably must have read a lot of self-help books previously, watched some videos, and read many articles as well, and although some seem to work, the majority of them don’t.
And then you wonder if it is all about looks or something else. If you find yourself wanting to make sure you look very attractive before going out to meet your crush, or basically, any other person you find attractive, or mostly, you find yourself in the position where you try to please people as much as possible, then you need to know that there is actually more to attraction than simply looks, behavior, temperament, and personality, among many others.
The art of attraction requires you to create a pleasant psychological presence in the mind of the person you seek to attract, such that they will see you in a brighter light. In that case, they start thinking of you in a more positive way, where your presence does not bother them as much. But it does not end there.
Wanting to feel attracted to someone is a matter that must not be forced. It requires time and effort, that is why it is an art. But then, in wanting to apply the methods we already know, we end up appearing clingy, which is a clear put-off for many. Why does that happen? Well, before we go about wanting to attract people, we must at least know what we do wrong that makes them run away.
Here are a few of the possible reasons why we end up driving people away instead of attracting them. There is more to learn in this article, so you must take out your pens and jotters to take very important notes.
What We Do Wrong
In attracting people, there are several things we do wrong, that ultimately lead to people running away from us. The following are some of the things we do wrong.
1. Being Immediately Available
It is not a bad idea to be around almost all the time, especially for the person you like. The problem is the implication and how the person feels about your actions. A lot of people will no doubt appreciate you for always being there for them. Even when they do not need help, you seem to be available for them.
As much as you may think your method is working, you should know that it is actually doing a lot of damage. Instead of them liking you, they start to realize how cheap and desperate you are. Because it may seem to them that you have put them on a pedestal in your consciousness, and indeed, they will act as if put on a pedestal around you.
And instead of you attracting them, the table would be turned around and then you would be attracted to them and then things will go southward for you. We are available too easily. And that is one thing we do wrong in wanting to attract people. In the end, we become cheap.
2. Not Focusing On Ourselves
Another mistake we make in the art of attraction is when we fail to focus not on ourselves but rather on others. It is ok to give them attention, but do not forget about your priorities. Know that you must also have time for yourself. For your self-discovery, and many other things you can do for yourself to make sure you are stable in all aspects of your being.
But here is the case where people spend extra time tending to the needs of people they want to attract. People need to know that one thing that repulses most individuals these days is when they are cheap. And the problem of people not finding you attractive stems from this issue.
People cheapen themselves in their bid to please the one they feel attracted to. They forget their goals at the time and are infatuated with that one person who will not even spare them a glance.
3. Thinking We Are Not Enough
And this is a huge problem. We forget the fact that we are also people and as much as they are humans and were born, we were born too. When we keep thinking we aren’t enough, we start to doubt our confidence. We begin to believe that, indeed, we will never meet up to a certain standard of attraction.
And if you do not know, you become what you think. Hence, you become unattractive. You do unattractive things and say unattractive things. We then begin to disregard self-care, all because we think we are not enough. That is another mistake we make in attracting people.
4. When We Are Afraid Of Being Rejected
In my articles, I mostly say that many people out there are born with this unique ability to sense energy. As such, when you meet a confident person, naturally you will feel that energy from them. The same can be said for timid people. When you let your fears get the best of you, your energy becomes obvious, and then you fail to ask your crush out, much less take their contact.
You will stutter and fumble for your words. And when they see how scared you are, they know you see them to be in the skies, and as such, they act like so. So whenever you try to get in touch with them, it is as though you do not exist. And then you fail to attract this person. This is another mistake we make when it comes to attracting people.
5. Forgetting Our Uniqueness
As much as they are beautiful, smart, and possibly out of this world, you fail to recognize the fact that you are also beautiful, smart, and out of this world in your own unique way. Honestly, there are no two people in this world. Even extremely identical twins are distinctly different and unique.
The same applies to you too. Hence, you came into this world for a purpose, and that alone must let you know that you are a king or queen, yet we fail to recognize this and end up admiring people who have already recognized their uniqueness and are capitalizing on it.
We throw ourselves at their feet, and they feel disgusted by our overly good intentions and admiring nature. And that is another mistake we make in attracting people.
6. Poking Our Noses Into People’s Problems
As much as we might think it is a way to get familiar with them, it is very unethical and annoying. It does not matter whether the person seemed distressed and as such, you wanted to help. Do not bother yourself with them; it all comes naturally if they feel that they need someone to talk to, and that person is you.
If they do not burden you, then mind your business. But instead of that, we try to seek attraction by feigning familiarity and making inquiries into other people’s lives. That is not the way to go. This is one thing most people do wrong.
6 Ways To Attract A Person Without Chasing Them
Until now, many people have seen the art of attraction as a dream woven with dew. However, it is not something easily unattainable. It requires a ready mind and a learner. The following are some of the proven ways to attract the people we want in this life: As much as we can use this for relationship purposes, we can also implement them in our sales strategies.
1. Be True
People love honesty. When you are honest about your personality, almost everyone admires you, regardless of your circumstances. Whether you are a person with special needs or whatever, honest people have this energy about them that makes them real and admirable. When you are true, you are not only true to yourself but also to people in any environment in which you find yourself.
You are able to be yourself without any cover-ups or pretending to be what or who you are not. Naturally, people hate it when they feel lied to. And there are many people who are able to smell your desperation and fake personality when you pretend, thereby leading them to despise you. Therefore, when you are true to yourself and to others, people feel more attracted to you, especially when they know you are without deception. Hence, learn to be true if you aren’t.
2. Be Selfless
Being selfless is much different from doing things for someone because you want them to admire you. Selflessness is a completely different concept. With selflessness, whatever you do, you do so while wanting nothing in return. It is a pure form of wanting to help a person. Naturally, when a person does something for you with an intention in mind, you feel it. And the same applies to one who does without wanting any.
A selfless person, since they need nothing in return even when offered, they are very much admired by people. And as such, people are attracted to them. Therefore, if you want people to admire you, continue helping others like you always do, but this time, want nothing in return.
They will start seeing you in a new light. People like to be around people who will help them with no strings attached. But in doing so, make sure you do not appear too easily available or cheap. If not, this method could backfire. Keep note.
3. Be Confident
You need to know that confidence is something that most people feel attracted to. Confident people, regardless of gender and circumstance, are very much admired wherever they find themselves. Building confidence requires you to learn a number of things. But then, just know that when you are confident enough ( not arrogant), people feel attracted to you.
4. Have Empathy
Who in this world does not like a person who will have time to listen to their problems, and share ideas and solutions as if they were actually in the same boat with them? When you learn to be an empath, you will have to have a lot of time for people. But then do not disregard yourself.
People with empathy tend to know more about how others feel and are able to react to it in a timely manner. And they truly care for people. As much as being an empath can gain you admirers, you must not blow it by always putting your nose into people’s businesses.
Let it come naturally. When they realize that you relate more to their problems, they tend to talk more about you to others, especially when you say something meaningful that strikes a cord somewhere.
When people talk to you, just try to give them your ear and talk only when necessary, and you will see how much they will start valuing you. Using empathy as a method to secure admirers is very effective and smart.
5. Realize Your Goals
Another key way to be attractive is to realize your goals. Your goal is the ultimate weighing scale that determines how attractive you will be. Especially in your society or community. Whether you are young or old, your achievements play a huge role in making people admire you more. They become careful with their words and demeanor around you. It becomes more like reverence in your presence.
And when you are not around, people will defend you, especially when someone tries to defame you. Knowing this, you must then know that it is very important for you to realize all your dreams and goals. Even when you are very focused on your dreams and goals, your dedication to it is enough to make someone feel attracted to you. This method is applicable in the long term as well as very effective.
6. Be Well Informed
The importance of this method has been really undermined. And most of the time, it hurts me to see people using certain unrealistic methods and those that aren’t applicable in real life. When you are well-informed, you are basically the guru of your workplace. People see you as very knowledgeable, and as a matter of fact, when there is any debate, they would love to know your thoughts on it.
Therefore, make sure you have ample knowledge in a lot of fields, such as politics, sports, science, theology, and many others, so that whenever you speak, as much as you know what you are talking about, you attract more and more people. This method is very applicable, especially in any society or community you find yourself in.
Final Words
In order for people to find you attractive, there are things you must do and things you must not do. But the key takeaway of this article is, do not be cheap. Consider the people you think are attractive. They may be loving, kind, and all, but they are not cheap.
You must do the same. Observe the people you know whom you find attractive and see what they do that makes them that attractive. Observe and learn more about the art.
