Relationships are not perfect. They are not supposed to be. But at least, just like life, we all try our best to make sure things are in the right order with our partners, especially when we care for them a lot.
It happens that both partners sometimes find themselves in situations that put the stability of their relationship to the test. Things like that usually happen as a result of it being the habit of either or both partners or normally it can be as a result of a shift in a partner’s mentality.
Most partners usually think it is best to just go with the flow and see where things will go, but how will that help in the long run? To just relax and watch your relationship sink in the mud. Most of the time, the more understanding partners try to sweep them under the rug.
However, that leads to more problems along the way. For every relationship to work, it requires the conscious efforts of both partners to do so.
And you need to know that, although every relationship has its own ups and downs, there are certain things that are an absolute no, things that must not be allowed in the relationship for the sake of both partners as well as the stability of the relationship.
Basically, those things must not be tolerated in relationships; if not, these things will end up jeopardizing the efforts you both must have put into the relationship to keep it as it currently is. Therefore, this article was written as a way to create awareness about some of the things we do that can murder our relationships.
In this article, we will discuss some of the things most partners encourage that cause relationships to fail. If you are ready to learn more, read on.
Top 10 Relationship Destroyers You Must Know
1. Commitment Issues
Relationships can go on for quite a while without any issues whatsoever. However, once there is little doubt in the minds of either partner concerning the relationship, the relationship can be said to be in a danger zone.
Since the moment either of the partners starts to encourage such thoughts about their standing in the relationship, commitment becomes a problem, especially when they fail to analyze what is wrong. And that partner starts to do things that will inevitably lead to the collapse of the relationship. Such as not prioritizing intimacy and the like, while it is one of the most important aspects in every relationship that people must do their best to invest in.
2. Not Prioritizing Empathy
Empathy is a trait that is very much required in every relationship out there. Without empathy, the relationship will no doubt fail since, when either of the partners has empathy, they are able to tap into the feelings and emotions of their partner and know how to relate to them depending on the situation.
Most of the time, due to the absence of this important ingredient in relationships, people get hurt emotionally or feel left out due to the situation whereby their partner disregards how they would feel concerning their actions at certain times in the relationship.
3. Seeing Your Ex
It might be that you met them somewhere, coincidentally, and they are no doubt looking great; however, it might be that you have no intention of going back to love them, or you may be considering it. It is a problem you need to address as soon as possible. If not, then you need to at least consider how your partner would feel if they found out that you still see your ex.
Old flames do not take long to be rekindled and as such, you stand a chance of ruining your relationship if you fail to cut those strings that keep you attached to your ex. This is one of the many things that destroy most relationships, especially marriages. Keep your past to the past, and then prioritize the present and the future.
4. Focusing On Friends And Families
As much as that might not be a problem to you, you would never imagine the kind of damage you would be causing to your relationship. Once you make up your mind to be in a relationship, you solely belong to your partner, and they also belong to you.
Family and friends are secondary matters. Allowing them into the relationship to do as they please can affect the stability of your bond very much. Or spending time with them at the mercy of the special time you need to enjoy with your partner. They used to say that there was time for everything.
And it is no different in cases like these. You need to draw a line between family and friends time and that of the one you enjoy with your significant other. Failure to do so will keep your relationship crippled, and in the end, when things are not handled the right way, you both will end up separated.
5. Poor Hygiene
Honestly, it is very embarrassing to go out with your partner only to realize their body emits some bad odors. It is a huge turn-off. No one in this world would tolerate such embarrassment, regardless of how much they love you and such.
Proper personal hygiene, as well as other forms of hygiene, is something every individual reading this article must make sure to practice in earnest. This includes taking care of your body and then your environment.
Once your partner realizes you are just lazy about personal hygiene, despite efforts to keep you on track, their interest in the relationship will diminish. As such, you must make sure to keep in mind the importance of good personal hygiene and how it can save you and your relationship.
6. Jealousy
As much as it is quite cute to be jealous and all, too much of it can ruin your relationship. They say too much of everything is bad, and the same can be said for jealousy. It is very repulsive when you feel like your partner has a problem with almost any person you have a moment with. It makes you feel as though you have no real freedom, all because you are in a relationship.
Being the jealous one in a relationship can always make you the bitter and annoying one. The feeling of jealousy can lead you to do many stupid things, and by the time you realize it, your own actions will have led to a breakup with your significant other.
Therefore, I understand that you love them very much, and the thought of someone engaging with them with whatever thoughts keep you on edge, but hey, you don’t own your partner; they are their own people, and as such, you need to keep your distance at times and give them a break.
As much as you love them, just do not get too attached to them. At times, it is good to have some level of caution in everything, and one such is in relationships.
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7. The Silent Treatment
When you decide not to talk with your partner after a heated argument, I believe it is usually a normal thing to do, to give them a silent treatment. However, it is not supposed to be normal when this treatment extends over a certain period.
You might feel satisfied for punishing your partner in such a way, but failure to reconsider your decision can leave them frustrated. And in that state of mind, a lot can happen, things can be said, and the next moment you both would be each other’s ex’s.
Therefore, whenever there is a conflict of whatever level, make sure to minimize the period for punishment and seek rather to bond again. Once you fail to acknowledge it and hold on to your grudge, you will find yourself in situations you know you could have avoided.
8. Lies
Sometimes, twisting the truth here and there might harm no one. But once it turns into a fully-fledged habit, it becomes a problem worth tackling. When one partner is always found to be dishonest in most cases, trust starts to diminish gradually in the relationship. No one would trust a person once they were found out to be a liar, and as they usually say, once a thief, always a thief.
So once you are found out to have lied on several occasions, the concept of trust becomes impossible. Gradually, the relationship can fail. Dishonesty is the silent killer of most relationships, and so you must beware of them.
9. Keeping Past Issues In One’s Heart
As stated previously, there is no relationship that is ever perfect in this world. Things happen, but when you fail to let go of the past, you do not only hurt yourself; you also hurt your partner and, most importantly, the relationship.
It happens like this because, once you habitually feel pain in your heart, all you think of are ways to pay back or how to get even with your partner. But the quick question here is, “Is that how to live life fully?” This life will never be complete when a person fails to forgive events of the past.
As much as it might be hurting you deeply, it is advisable to find ways to forget and then forgive. If not, due to the pain you keep in you, you will fail to do things even to the benefit of the relationship, so try to let go of some pain at times and be happy in your relationship.
10. Selfishness
Selfishness in relationships is a real thing, where one partner refuses to give and rather prioritizes their own happiness over the other. It could be that the partner we talk of will refuse to be available for the other when it comes to intimacy.
It may be in the form of emotional attachment, sex, or financial assistance, among others. Once a partner begins to exhibit selfish deeds, the other starts to also think of ways to protect themselves. And if this problem is not well addressed, both partners will end up separated.
What To Do
Since you now know some of the possible things that can destroy your relationship, it is also important to know some of the ways you can avoid them.
Learn To Be Selfless
To avoid these things that put our relationships at risk, we first need to be selfless. It is not very easy to be the selfless one in a challenging relationship, but once you make up your mind to do so, especially for the sake of saving your relationship, it all becomes worth it.
Learn To Be Thoughtful
Thoughtfulness is when, as a romantic partner, you leave no stone unturned, such that you make sure that almost everything is catered to in the relationship. As draining as it is, it is one of the few things that keeps relationships strong.
Learn To Be Honest
It is a problem when your partner no longer trusts you due to past events that involved a breach of trust. However, it is never too late. You can make things right again, and that is by regaining that trust. It is true that it might be difficult.
But since you made that mistake once or several times some time ago, it is your duty to make sure you get it back; if not, you might lose your relationship. Let them see your efforts and let them understand how sorry you are.
Final Words
As much as these things are real, you can avoid them. And in doing so, it can be a step to saving your relationship. You just need to have the desire to do so. Once you know within yourself that you love and cherish your partner, you need to do everything possible to make sure these little things do not put your relationship at risk.
