What is self sabotage?
Self sabotage is when our own behaviours creates problems for us. There are times when the activities of other people impede and repress our progress. However, most of the times we are responsible for holding ourselves back.
Remember, no one can make you do something if you really don’t want to. The same way no one can make you quit if you really don’t want to quit. It is when you say it’s over that’s when it is truly over.
You sabotage yourself when your inner thoughts and your actions are completely contradicting your plans and ambitions for the goals you’ve set for yourself.
This could be caused by a number of outside forces. The effects of these negative forces cause us to deviate from our original planned routes to success.
Here we will discuss some ways you are sabotaging yourself even if you don’t realise it.
Ways you are sabotaging yourself
1. Bad habits
There are habits we develop that sabotage our dreams and aspirations. These habits are things we’ve become so accustomed to doing that we don’t even notice we are doing them anymore. It’s like a reflex.
Such habits can include postponing things that are due, negative thoughts like telling yourself you are not good enough and easily giving up at the slightest hint of difficulty. These are all things we do to regress our own progress.
Due to bloated egoes, we normally bulk at the slightest obstacle. We should know that we are not perfect and we are not immune to mistakes. However, because we are so self absorbed, we react negatively to every impediment we face and give up.
We completely ignore the fact that it is only in trying that we will succeed. So it is important that we learn from our mistakes and keep trying. But on the contrary, we normally give up at the first hurdle and never reach our potential.
3. Setting unrealistic goals
We set unrealistic targets at unrealistic times and burn ourselves out trying to achieve them. This is one of the ways we sabotage ourselves.
When our targets aren’t met, we fail to set new ones and are stuck with previous targets that are unattainable. This can sometimes cause a mental block and cause us to completely destroy our motivation for going forward.
So it is very important to you set realistic goals. You can get this goal planner and set realistic goal. Break down your goals into smaller tasks and whenever you complete a task, celebrate and keep moving forward.
4. Failing to take stock
Another way we sabotage ourselves is by failing to take accounts. When you don’t know your outputs and achievements, it will be difficult to tell if you are improving or not.
Most people do not keep account and so do not know whether they are progressing or regressing, this causes lack of will power to proceed.
So get into the habit of recording your progress, keep account. You can do this weekly or monthly to know how far you have progressed.
5. Failing to recognize little achievements
Another way we defeat ourselves is by acknowledging tiny setbacks rather than appreciating little victories.
For example; if we do something that one person think is really cool or beautiful but others give bad comment about it, we focus more on the ones that hated it and we feel bad about ourselves.
Instead of finding joy in the fact that at least one person acknowledge and appreciated what we did, we feel sad and sorry for ourselves that a lot of people didn’t like what we did.
Realise that you can’t please everybody. So long as you are happy with yourself and your achievements, no ones opinion should matter.
How to stop sabotaging yourself
1. Practice self love and self care
Most self destructive behaviours we have are as a result of us not loving ourselves. May be it’s because we let what others say about us get to us and control our thoughts.
Or it’s because we compare ourselves to others and so we don’t appreciate ourselves enough.
So to stop sabotaging yourself, you need to love yourself and appreciate yourself. Practise self love. Say nice things to yourself.
2. Break goals into smaller tasks
This is a very simple trick to getting things done. Sometimes when you have a lot to do, you feel lazy to even begin. So break them into smaller tasks and tackle them one at a time.
Use a productivity planner to help you get things done. This can also help you to track your progress and know where you are progressing and where you are falling short.
3. Be self disciplined
Being self disciplined is a very important step in breaking bad habits. Go to bed on time. Wake up on time. Do things you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do them. Take breaks when it is appropriate.
4. Take it one step at a time
Don’t try to do everything all at once. Take it one step at a time. If there are 5 things you need to get done. Tackle them according to their order of importance, tackle the most important ones first and then continue until you are done.
If there are self sabotaging behaviours you want to quit, take them one at a time. Make small changes everyday and by the time you realise, they wouldn’t be a part of your life anymore.