80 Mother’s Day Jokes

Get everybody laughing this mother’s day with these mother’s day jokes. They are funny and relatable. Being a mom is not an easy task and these jokes definitely agree.

Mother’s day jokes

What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.

What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.

Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.

Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.

Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.

Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! mother's day jokes

Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!

What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.

What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.

It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.” mother's day jokes

It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Pop-corn?

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Pop-corn?

 Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor?

 Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor?
She bit her tongue!

Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.

Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.

What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.

What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.

What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.

What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.

 I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup

 I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He said, “Call for backup

What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.

What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!

What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!

Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom

Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom

I bought my mom a mug that says, “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son”.

I bought my mom a mug that says, “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.

What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.

What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.

Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos

Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos

How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.

How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.

 Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”

Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”

 I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.

 I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.

There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking: Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.

There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking: Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.

What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s day.

What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s day.

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep!

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep!

Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.

Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.

Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.

Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.

At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.

At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.

When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.

When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.

Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.

Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.

Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?

Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?

There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.

There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.

Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.

Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.

 Nothing is really lost… until mom can’t find it.

 Nothing is really lost… until mom can’t find it.

You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.

You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.

You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.

You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.

Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.

Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.

My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as “there appears to have been a struggle.

My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as “there appears to have been a struggle.

What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship.

What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship.

They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.

They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.

Mother to son: “I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!”

Mother to son: “I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!”

Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.

Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.

How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done.

How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done.

My nickname is Mom. But my full name is “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.

My nickname is Mom. But my full name is “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.

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My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom. So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.

 My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom.
So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.

What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.  mothers day jokes

What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.

What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time.

What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time.

Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales? Because mothers are priceless.

Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales? Because mothers are priceless.

 Everything you do is so mom point.

 Everything you do is so mom point.

She believed she could, and she almost did… But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing. mothers day jokes

She believed she could, and she almost did… But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing.

I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them.

I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them.

Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as “getting dressed.”

Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as “getting dressed.”

What three words solve dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.

What three words solve dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.

Yoda best mom. Love you, I do.

Yoda best mom. Love you, I do.

Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years!

Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years!

Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!

Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!

Parenting is buying a bounce house and swing set just so you can sit on the patio and drink wine in peace.

Parenting is buying a bounce house and swing set just so you can sit on the patio and drink wine in peace.

What did the digital clock say to its mother? Look, Ma! No hands!

What did the digital clock say to its mother? Look, Ma! No hands!

 I would write a book about parenting, but it would just be filled with rants about doing everything myself. And cocktail recipes

 I would write a book about parenting, but it would just be filled with rants about doing everything myself. And cocktail recipes

A mother’s sacrifice isn’t giving birth. It’s nine months without wine.

A mother’s sacrifice isn’t giving birth. It’s nine months without wine.

Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.

Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.

I’m going to donate these bags of clothes to Goodwill. But first, I’m going to drive around with them in my trunk for four months

I’m going to donate these bags of clothes to Goodwill. But first, I’m going to drive around with them in my trunk for four months

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for puddin’ up with me.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for puddin’ up with me.

What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.

What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.

 Why did the Mother’s Day gift arrive the day after Mother’s Day? It was chocolate.

 Why did the Mother’s Day gift arrive the day after Mother’s Day? It was chocolate.

Motherhood is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.

Motherhood is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.

Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-mom Prime.

Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-mom Prime.

What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother’s Day? She was still in her paw-jamas.

What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother’s Day? She was still in her paw-jamas.

What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother’s Day? Starbucks.

What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother’s Day? Starbucks.

Why did the boy put the Mother’s Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.

Why did the boy put the Mother’s Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.

Dont forget to buy bottle for moms mothers day on Sunday. Remember, you are the reason she drinks

Dont forget to buy bottle for moms mothers day on Sunday. Remember, you are the reason she drinks

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother’s Day? They shellabrated their mommy.

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother’s Day? They shellabrated their mommy.

 Sunday School Teacher: “Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?” Student: “No, ma’am. I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.”

 Sunday School Teacher: “Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?” Student: “No, ma’am. I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.”

What kind of flowers do yellow jacket mothers like for Mother’s Day? Bee-gonias.

What kind of flowers do yellow jacket mothers like for Mother’s Day? Bee-gonias.

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