Most people struggle with body image issues, and I am no exception. There was a time I battled so much with how I looked that I couldn’t even stand taking photos. I would stand in front of the mirror for long periods, not to admire myself, but to criticise what I saw. I would tell myself I wasn’t beautiful enough. I cried, wishing I could gain weight so I could feel attractive—so I could feel “enough”.
But it wasn’t always like this.
There was a time when I truly loved myself—loved how I looked and carried myself with confidence. In fact, I was such a photo addict that it led me to start my fashion blog. I’ve always been slim, and for the longest time, I was genuinely happy with the body I had.
Then everything changed.
When I got married and had my first baby, I expected—like many do—that my body would go through the usual changes. Most women gain weight post-pregnancy. But that wasn’t the case for me. I had a baby, and I was still slim. Then I had another, and another, and now, with four babies, I am still slim.
And suddenly, that became a problem.
People started to talk. Not just behind my back—but right in front of me. “You need to put on weight,” they’d say. “You’re too slim for someone who’s had kids.” I kept hearing it over and over again—comments suggesting that gaining weight after childbirth was somehow the only acceptable norm. That looking fuller or curvier meant looking beautiful. And by implication, I wasn’t.
At first, I brushed it off. But after hearing it so frequently, it started to get to me. I began to question myself:
Am I beautiful enough? Why can’t I gain weight like others? What’s wrong with me?
And the more those questions stayed in my head, the more I lost the love I once had for myself. I no longer enjoyed dressing up. I stopped taking photos. Something that used to bring me joy now made me feel insecure. I started hiding behind baggy clothes and avoiding my reflection. My confidence took a deep dive.
But here’s the thing—I never stopped being me. I never stopped being strong, capable, and worthy of love and acceptance.
And slowly, I’m learning to love myself again. I’m still slim after four babies, and yes, people still make comments. But I’ve grown. I’m learning to embrace body positivity, and each day I make a conscious effort to remind myself that I am beautiful exactly as I am.
If you’ve ever struggled with body image—whether it’s because you’re slim, curvy, short, tall, or anything in between—I want to share the five simple things that have helped me rebuild my self-love and confidence.
5 Steps to Improve Your Body Image
1. Accept Yourself as You Are
This is the most important and powerful step: acceptance. It’s the foundation of self-love. You have to accept yourself as you are—your natural size, your shape, your height, your skin tone—everything.
You are not a mistake. Whether you are slim, curvy, short, tall, or somewhere in between, your body is not something to fix. It’s something to appreciate. It has carried you through life, birthed children (in my case, four!), and supported you even on your worst days.
So embrace yourself. Look in the mirror and say: This is me. I am enough.
2. Desist from Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison will always rob you of joy. Social media has made it incredibly easy to compare our bodies to the highlight reels of others. But someone else’s beauty or body type doesn’t take away from yours.
There will always be someone taller, curvier, slimmer, or more muscular. But those differences don’t make anyone more worthy than the next. We’re not meant to all look the same. You were created with a purpose—and that includes how you look.
So instead of comparing, celebrate what makes you unique. You are not less beautiful because you don’t look like someone else.
3. Build a Positive Support System
My body image issues didn’t start from within—they were planted by the people around me. Words are powerful, especially when they come from those close to you.
That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who uplift you, not tear you down. Choose friends and family who see your worth, who cheer you on, and who make you feel good about yourself.
And most importantly, be that person for yourself too. Speak kindly to yourself. Be your own hype woman. You deserve to feel good about you.
Related Posts
4. Do What You Can—and Let Go of the Rest
There are things you can change, and things you can’t. Focus on what you can do—eat balanced meals, move your body with love (not punishment), get enough rest, and prioritise your well-being. Not because you want to look different, but because you want to feel good from the inside out.
If gaining weight isn’t something your body does easily, don’t force it. Don’t let it define your beauty. What matters most is that your body is strong, nourished, and cared for.
Let go of the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations. Your worth isn’t tied to your weight or size.
5. Be Kind to Yourself—Daily
Every day, take a moment to speak life over yourself. Look in the mirror and say something kind. It might feel awkward at first, but with time, your brain starts to believe what your mouth says.
Touch your arms, your tummy, your thighs—thank them for carrying you. Thank your body for every breath, every movement, every heartbeat. Say things like:
I love my body.
I am beautiful.
I am more than enough.
The more you say these things, the more they sink in. And soon, you’ll notice a shift—not just in how you see your body, but in how you feel about yourself overall.
Final Thoughts
Now, with four beautiful children and still wearing the same slim figure I’ve always had, I no longer allow people’s opinions to define me. It’s taken me years, but I’m finally in a space where I’m healing, learning, and embracing who I am—fully.
Your body is yours. No one else gets to define what’s “beautiful” for you. So if you’re reading this and struggling, know that you are not alone. But also know that you have the power to change the way you see yourself.
Start small. Start with love. And remember: you are beautiful—just as you are.
